SEAC, The Services Newspaper of South East Asia Command, August 15th 1944

People T>OLITICS for the General? Daily Telegraph reports Lt- Gcn. Sir Giffard Le Q Martel who has just retired, will contest next election as a Tory. Early this year, while playing bridge at the Army and Navy Club, he lost his eye during an air raid He had survived 30 years’ soldiering, and five years’ championship boxing without irreparable injury. It is not at all typical of Martel (French for Hammer) that he should be playing bridge, tho’ it is very typical of him that since he was playing abridge bomb or so would not stop him. Martel wop the Army welter-weight championship pre-1914, returned after four years in France to win it again. His name, with those of Swinton and Fuller, will ever be associated with the creation of the Tanks, a British invention. Dur­ing the •‘shoddy, shameful years,” Martei continued to hammer for areal armoured force, building himself a one-man tank in his own back garden at Camberley. He commanded the 50th Div at Arras, 1940. and launched the one bril­liantly successful armoured coun­ter thrust against the panzers in the Dunkirk campaign. Next he was charged with creating the Royal Armoured Corps out of RTR and Cavalry regiments. The results speak. He took a large part in creating India's Armoured Corps also. He finished a great army career on mission to USSR. Otthand. one would say, Martel is about the least Conservative genera in view.* J^LACK-listed: Swedish sea- captain Mountstedt, who turned back his ship to handover two stowaway airmen es- eap ng from German prison camp. His act.on his own admis­sion. Anthony Eden has told MPs, was unneutral. anti-British, im­proper and dastardly. Captain Mountstedt will live to regret it. In future, it will be illegal for any British subject to have deal­ings with him. If he ever takes his ship to a British port, he will be ordered away. He is barred from England as an undesirable. to memoe rs USAAF fighter squadron by Brig-General F.T. Wessels, com­mander of the Myitkyina Task Force in speaking to Maj-Gcneral Howard C. Davidson Command­ing 10th USAAF: said Wessels, •'No one can tell me anything more about close support. Yours was an epic of accuracy. Ground troops stood up ahd cheered only 40 veards away from the bomb line as your planes zoomed into the attack. Your devotion was magnificent.” Quiz 1. Padar is Indianan priest. French beggar, coarse Hour, leather substitute, Eastern drug, animal? 2. Who wrote (a) Anthony Ad­verse, (b) My Antonia? 3. Which of the following is an intruder, and why? Cork, Wexford, Wicklow, London­ derry, Kilkenny, Tipperary. 4. Where is Adams footprint? 5. What is the opposite of hiber­nation? 6. What English city did the Romans call Aquae Solis? 7. Which of the following are mis-spelt? Impiety, Infelicity, Iccy, Idiocy, Immaturity, Ilex. Intermeadiarv, Irony. 8. In what game is the field of play known as the diamon? 9. If a Spaniard invited you to a game of pelota, what would you expect to p’ay with? 10. How much is a noggin? 11. In what country is the tael a current coin? ,12. Name two chemical elements beginning with O. Answers Col.in 3. SEAC Radio ilour Broadcast on a wavelength of 25.36 metres. iODAV: 13.00 Musical Magazine: 13.30 Spotlight on the Stare 13.45 Brahma Symphony No. 418.30 American Swing 19,00 Stuart Reece (tenorj 1915 American Sport 22.00 Light Music 22.30 Mueic t'om America twMORROH: 13.00 ITMA 13.30 Grand Hotel 1400 March of the Movies 1830 Amer:can Variety 19.00 J-ied Hartley and h:s Music 19.15 British Sport News 22.00 Hit Parads: 22.30 Morrta Liter and his 20th Cen­tury Serenaders. FAITH lie givetli goodly words. Genesis, 49,21. “Left Q ”Martel l i EST people's war? Columnist Tom Driberg gives in Reynolds what he thinks is one cause of the lack of war reporting facilities in France, about which corres­pondents have been complaining. He quotes from The Taller: “the little band whom Col. the Hon. ‘Harry’ Tufton, well-known on the racecourse. and an en­thusiastic grower of orchids, had gathered round him in prepara­tion for the assault. Col. Tufton. as Deputy Assistant Director of Public Relations for the 21 Army Group, is responsible for all war correspondents attached to the British and Empire group of armies. and he chose a num­ber of well-known young men about town of pre-war days to be his assistants.”* JpIRST tenants of pre-fabricated, steel-framed Portal House: Mr and Mrs Parker, bombed out Londoners. House stands in the shadow of Tate Galicry, has been fitted up with utility furni­ture, a wireless set, and an Anderson shelter. But while MPs and social workers continue to argue about the merits of this much discussed, easily bu'lt house, the Parkers have been told they must not talk about it to ar.vone. They will not say whether it is warm, draughty, too big, too little, or damp. Pro­duction plans for 100.000 in first peace-year are going ahead. *AT a London club, a vague, well-meaning Englishman went up to a short, dark American and said to him: “Haven't I seer you before?”—“Perhaps.”— “Where.”—“I don't know.”— “Have you ever been in New York?”—“Sure. I've been there.” —“That must have been where I saw you. My name is So-and-So.” •—"Glad to know you. My name's Robinson.”—They shook hands. “I knew 1 had seen you,” said the Englishman proudly. “I never forget a face.” The American was Edward G. Robinson. £40,000 a picture film star, who has flown from Hollywood to London to play for nothing a small part in anew RAF film “Journey To­gether.” successor to “Target for Tonight.” JUST JAKE Laugh —with Beachcomber J)EAR SIR. It does not seem to occur to your correspondents that an ele­phant might like to have a Maharajah on its back, especially rvhen the ruler is lavish with Indian buns. Shooting in India is not as we know it here. Nobody advocates elephants in the butts up North, but the East is un­changing. Even a Chinaman can­not sit an elephant like Indian,an and unless you can do the splits alike Cossack, you have to ride side-saddle in the jungle. What I often wonder is why they don't use ladders for mounting and dis-mounting, as they do with camels in Persia, instead of forcing the beast onto its fore-knees and then slithering to the ground. Yours truly. Delia Armitage. The Beard Case VrESTERDAY the Eeard Case had a regrettable relapse. ,Interventions by Mrs. Stocking, Pompo Ltd., the Upshot Dye- works, Canon Narrable and Mouse. Escallop and Fremlingham so bcwitched. bemused and be­fuddled the gleaming cohorts of barristers that the court was like an ice-hockey rink during a match between the Terrible Tigers and the Frightful Fellows. T hesi­tated to make a verbatim report of the proceedings, as my readers would accuse me of talking rub- bi«n—an accusation which cuts tome the marrow for a moment, and then runs off me like liquid egg-powder off a chef’s hat. Confus'on WHAT ,for instance, is one to make of th's? .Mr. Tumbler: Is your name En:d Stocking? Miss Taverner: No. Why should it oe? Mr. Hirst: M’ lud, is this in order? Coeklecarrot: Is what in order? Nothing I have heard today is partically in order. Who are these people? Mr Tumbler: What people, m'lud? Here Missis Taverner who------- Cockleearrot: The people whose names I keen hearing. Mr. Goose- boote, pray continue. Mr. Gooseboote That is not Miss Taverner, m'lud. Cocklecarrot Who isn't? Do you mean Mrs. Stocking isn't? Mr. Pelpe: M'lud, he means Miss Taverner isn't. Cocklecarrot: Well, as they both aren’t, make a note of it. to avoid future mistakes. Quiz Answers 1. Coarse flour. 2. (a) Harvey Allen, (b) Willa Cather. 3. Londonderry is in Ulster others in Eire. 4. On Adam’s Peak, a mountain in Ceylon. 5. Estivation. 6. Bath. 7. Icy, Intermediary. 8. Baseball. 9. A ball. 10. Quarter of a pint. 11. China. 12. Oxygen, Osmium.••• «VV.Vrf J £ E was just “The boy in the pit stores.” an Oakcngates— that's in Staffordshire—lad. until someone discovered that he “had away with horses.” So the boy left the pit stores for Martin Hartigan's stable, and since he was first champion jockey in 1925 he has steadily smashed every English race-riding record. Now in his 41st year, he occupies a dominating position. Yes. Gordon Richards. Again this season he is out on his own. True, he rides for powerful stables, but there must be more to it than that. Today, small punters and professionals ask the same question: “What does Gor­don ride?” Fifty-three Winners I have outworked from a list of his mounts that up to 22 July he had ridden 53 winners. 24 seconds. 19 thirds and 80 unplac­ed horses. Thirty-four of his winners were favourites. Gordon has not often let his backers down when the money was on. Eighteen times he land­ed the odds, only failing on six odds-on runners. In addition he has placed 17 favourites and lost on 16. No doubt about it. Du^cie may never owe. but Gordon gives you a run for your money. Working Man’s Ground My mail from home not only tells me how the garden is look­ing. but how football ground cul­tivation is proceeding, and it contains someth ng revolutionary from Birmingham. It appears that Bill Camkin. Brum director who brought Walter Lindrum to England and made a fortune out of selling billiard tables, plans- to rebuild the St. Andrew's ground on newlines. At the moment all Birmingham possess is a pitch surrounded by open sites, a legacy of the blitz. carflfttn*«f id&3' ?Sto timid a ntand to seat only 5,000 season ticket holders at £10 or £20 a season. The rest of the ground will be covered standing accommodation at a bob a time. He argues, and rightly, that the people who keep the game going are the bob men and they should have protection from the weather, whilst season ticket holders should pay more for their extra com­fort. I think that fellow has got something there. QPR Look Ahead Seems I have reasonable grounds now for passing onto Queen's Park Rangers’ ground, one of the smallest in the busi­ness. Anyway, the Shepherd's Bush people are looking ahead and have plans for enlargement by taking a slice of land belong­ing to the adjoining White City. The LCC comes into this and it maybe a considerable time after the war before the Loftus-road enclosure becomes more palatial. Hope they get better exits. Do you remember the shortcut down the bank and through the back doors of houses, along the pass­ages and throughout the front doors? Nice work for the ten- nants on a Monsoon Saturday !Wheels Are Turning We started the wheels turning for Sgt. E. E. Buckie. HQ 221 Group. RAF. India, when we pub­lished his letter suggesting forma­tion of a Services' Cycling Club sometime back. He now writes to say the response was tremend­ous. SE Asia Command has cer­tainly got the cyclists. In his letter of thanks to those who res­ponded. Sgt. Buckie says: “First step is to arrange an in­augural meeting in some central spot such as Ca^utta. Most of the boys from whom 1 have heard are. like myself in the wilds. I would like, therefore, to get in touch with anybody orin near Calcutta who would be prepared to do some organising Calcutta Suggestion “Poona and Bombay appear to be more popular cycling centres, but are out of the question for us. Compared with the Cairo Burk- shee Wheelers, we arc up against a mountain of difficulties, but I feel sure we have enough sup­porters to overcome them. m“I afraid only the fortunate few will be able to take part, regularly in organised runs, but, if. With the help of Welfare, we can get several ‘irons.’ they can beheld available in Calcutta for lads who eet thereon leave. This is a matter for discussion. Now come om you Chov rinshee wheel­ men. lets be hearing from vou ’*Good luck, fellows. ¦cs H obbs’s Choice r|^HE hardest part of being a celebrity,” writes Major Harry Hobbs, VD, “is that there is always someone somewhere who doesn't know you from Adam. “Caruso’s car broke down two miles from an out-of-town burg. Walking into the store he found half-a-dozen men round the stove and introduced himself: ‘Gentle­men. I am Caruso *Dead silence for a minute, then: ‘What, Robin­son?’ shouted one of the crowd, rushing up to grasp his hand. ‘What a hell of a time you must have had on that island.’’* a present from the Daily Mirror /ifOO TOTTERING TERMITE. ERIC- 'NO ARGUMENT. ,SERE 'WE'LL MAKE) A "'ff A HOPE •j— T*y 1 TUNIC A H 'BOOTS. SQUIRE! V J • v /'hes. con alb tits !-WE'LL TIE ONE OE HOUR BEETLE-CRUSHERS TO THE END O FIT. JANE r CM DEAR!—THIS tS SORFUL JANE 1-EV YER THING 'CEPT YOUR UNDIES IS WRINGING w t/-e You'll catch Your DEATH IF YOU PUT YOUR UNIFORM ON! YES -JUST MY LUCKf- HANG i tON THE ROOF JO DRY/- D
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