The War Illustrated No 30 Vol 2 March 29th 1940

The War Illustrated March 29th, 1940 ^.o U irityl pia-m flly , W ,aAtime. %)iaAy D on’t you think this is a case o f “that fee blowed for a tale ?”According to a London evening paper, Lord Strathcona is “second in commando fan Army unit ”(whatever that may mean), and,rreturning to barracks in the dark, he answered the sentry’s “Who goes there?”with “Major Lord Strathcona and Mount Royal,” to which the sentry :“Pass, Major Lord Strathcona. The other officer advance and be recognized.” It’s an old wheeze this playing on binary titles. A classical instance :the Duke o f Hamilton is also Duke of Brandon, and the 12th Duke (the 13th has just died) once sent an order from Hamilton Palace to a French wine merchant signed “Hamilton and Brandon.” The wine mer­chant replied asking for references, ashe had had no previous business with the firm. Bunk,o f course, for no wine merchant could be such a fool as to confuse the ducal note-paper and address with those o f a business firm. ?More plausible is the story told o f a Scottish law lord who, as a breakaway from custom, took a territorial name for his title. In those days the title applied only to the law lord, so that while Mr. Andrew MacGlashan became Lord MacGlashan his wife remained plain Mrs. MacGlashan. The exception mentioned registered at an hotel with his wife as “Lord Loanhead and Mrs. Anderson,” the latter being his family name (these names are fictitious, o f course), and had a good deal o f difficulty in getting the hotel keeper to allow him to share an apartment with his wife. Also, bunk !...but all these yams are, and what surprises me is that their inventors can’t do better. The Strathcona one, however, I regard as insulting, for a Major who would give such a response to a sentry should get a good talking-to from his superior officer, and I ’m confident that Lord Strathcona would never in such a situation roll off his subsidiary title to the embarrassment o f a simple sentry. ,“'C'or black-out read bright-out ”would 1 seem to bethe wishful thinking of those who tell us that soon the black-out will abe nightmare o f the past. The idea is to rush to the other extreme and send up from London and our other great cities such ablaze o f searchlights into the nocturnal sky that air raiders would bedazzled by the ceiling o f gleaming light over the cities and rendered less able to spot an objective than in the black-out, while down below we should be carrying on as if it were high noon !There maybe something in the idea, and it would abe godsend for the electricity com­panies that can’t be doing too well just now. But I ’m not hopeful, though I have often noticed how a single searchlight operating over central London in the murky night illumines the thoroughfares over which its beam is shining better than the old system of standard lamps ever did. ?If the“ bright-out ”were ever realized it would have a fine effect on public health, which under the black-out is certainly deteriorating ...health o f mind and health o f body. Eyesight has been affected by the long unillumined periods that are now rapidly diminishing, thanks to the coming o f spring and wisdom o f advancing summer­time. I am one o f the many who temporarily inexperienced the blackness a mild form o f “night blindness,” and I am sure tliat the irksome conditions o f these darkened even- B Y T HEED ITO Rings must have had a lowering effect on our vitality. That, and the long spell of bad weather, were the probable causes o f the widespread ’flu that recently affected almost every home in London and greatly interfered with working efficiency. ?Six or seven of my editorial staff have been amongst the victims. Still, it’s been a flea-bite to the epidemic of 1918, in which the death roll vied with that o f some of -the historic plagues. The panel doctors have been busy in consequence, but I hear that the slump continues in Harley Street, as the well-to-do are discovering that many o f the expensive operations which are boosted into fashionable fads can really be avoided. “Tonsillectomy is really a luxury trade,” one Harley Street specialist has frankly admitted. A quarter o f a century Iago had to fight against the“ tonsil-snatchers ”myself. I ’ve still got my tonsils where Nature planted them. miimimmilN THIS NUMBER iiim im iim i Page New Zealanders and Anti-Tank Guns 289 Finland, The Fighting Ends ...................290-92 On the Western Front........................... 293-9S The Fate of Finland: Facts For the Foolhardy ..........................................297 Fringes of the War: 2. Norway ...298-99 There’s a Boom in British Shipbuilding 300-01 Day in the Life of a Military Nurse ...302 First Historic Photographs of the Battle of the Plate ...........................303-06 Unique photographs exclusive to The War Illustrated The North Sea Has Its Own .PA.R .307 Words That History Will Remember 308 War’s Shadow on Hong Kong ...........309 What Hitler Would Like to Do to Us 310 They Sweep for Mines in Table Bay 311 King Carol Lifts the Ban on the Iron Guard ..................................................312 The Evil Things We Fight: 2..............*313 Young India Takes to Its Wings ...314“ I Was There ”Section ...................315-18 Expansion of France’s Air Force ...319 Diary of the Week ...................................320 imimtiimiiiiiimiiiiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiiiiumiiiiiiiiiimiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit’ T o Ronald D. Thomas who sends me another parallel to the“ Footpad ”story which I retold a week or two Iago, am obliged for carrying it aback generation or two. I have no doubt that it has still along, long way togo before it reaches its real Tipperary. But this step is certainly an interesting one. Apropos of last week’s “Wartime Jottings,” in which you mention the tale of the Neapolitan gentleman who unwittingly became a thief, and the oddity of the similarity between this story and that of Mr. Richard Church’s in the “New Statesman,” I think the following incident, which is told of Lord Macaulay, may bethe original of this story :One night, when visiting Rome, Lord Macaulay was strolling under the dark arches of the Colosseum, when a heavily-cloaked man brushed rudely past him. Macaulay, suspecting footpads, immediately clapped his hand to his pocket, and sure enough found his watch missing. Without a moment’s hesitation, Macaulay hurried off and overtook the stranger. Seizing him by the collar, he shook the man and demanded“ Orologio ! Orologio !”The cloaked stranger, thus attacked, poured forth a torrent of language, which Macaulay could not understand, and he continued to shake his cap­tive and demand his watch. At last the latter outdrew a watch and handed it over. Macaulay satisfied, released the man, who hurried away. On Macaulay’s return to his apartment he was met by his landlady with an object in her hand. “Oh, sir,” she "said, “you left your watch behind, so I thought I would take care of it lor you.” Macaulay then pulled out the watch he had taken from the cloaked man under the dark arches of the Colosseum, and to his horror found it was a strange one! The story goes onto say how Macaulay took the strange watch to the police station, and how it was eventually returned to its owner— Macaulay’s victim of the previous night— with the Englishman’s profuse apologies. The hearse has often been used for less honourable purpose than transporting the dead to their place o f rest. During the bad days o f prohibition in America I arrived in New York the morning after a funeral party had been upheld by the police, suspicious of the rather disreputable-looking mourners, who proved to abe party of bootleggers removing a coffinful o f whisky, complete with wreaths !And there was a story in the last war about two rival Scottish travellers arriving with their sample cases at a country town whose station was a good mile from the centre o f the town. One had a gig waiting to convey him to the principal draper’s, the other had to wait for a motor- bus, as there were no cars to be hired. The bus was delayed, but as soon ashe with the gig outset his rival made a bargain with the driver o f a motor-hearse, awaiting the arrival o f a coffin by a later train, to run him and his sample cases up to the draper’s, where Traveller No. 1 arrived in his gig and asked to seethe cfraper. “He’s engaged at present,” said an assistant, “with Mr. Maclsaac of Quicksellers !"“Impossible,” said Traveller No. Ii,“ left him at the station.” “Oh, but he got up herein the motor-hearse,” smiling broadly. “Great heavens,” exclaimed No. i in con­sternation, “think of th a t!It passed me on the hill, and I took off m y hat tito !”These two contes funebres came to my mind when reading today a telegram from an Amsterdam correspondent about the hunt which the Dutch police have been conducting for a mysterious motor-hearse that some German spies are using for sending up Very lights and coloured rockets as signals to German airmen. I’v e just come across a jotting that I made some weeks ago, and then promptly forgot about it—a fact that is not without point. As we advance in the vale o f years, the things we are most apt to forget are those that happened last week or even two or three days ago, while the earliest imprints o f memory stay undimmed. I noted the death o fan eminent art critic whom I had met but once and that many years ago, Malcolm C. Salaman. I remembered writing a review o f his book “Woman— through a *Man’s Eyeglass,” in a Glasgow paper ’way back in ’92. And I recall the cover design much more clearly than any o f the multitude I looked< a tin Denny’s window yesterday! Salaman I see was eighty-four when he slipped away, and Win“ ho’s Who ”he 'confesses to the recreation o f “pulling the legs o f advancing years.” I ’m thinking o f trying that as anew hobby, for on his total 1 have still a good stretch in which to practise the pulling. I never imagined that I should look upon a gas-mask as having any decorative value but if you will look at the photos of the “Ajax ”and“ Exeter ”men in their march through London which appeared in The War I l lust rated you will agree with me that, robbed o f their gas-masks, they would not have made so good a picture. Ths shoulder-strap of the gas-mask gives a much-needed relief to the dark navy blue o f their greatcoats, and in fact it’s the shoulder- straps that “make the picture.” i f i l S S l i i S i ail
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