The Crusader, Eighth Army Weekly, No. 41, Vol 4, February 8th 1943

C R U S A D E R A contrast in types of Axis prisoners. The Italian seems highly delighted about it. The German, who bears a strong resemblance to Spencer Tracy was at Pennsylvania University and spent 12 years in the U .S .A . H e was completing his education at Munich when war began. H e speaks English with an American accent; sags he wants to get back to America. S h o r t S t o r y B y H .L .V . F l e t c h e r “ANY COMPLAINTS ? ” T he Colonel was looking distinctly uncom­ fortable when Sergeant Wotherspoon was shown in. He’d just been reflecting that it was always the confounded amateurs, in army life as everywhere else, who spoiled things with their enthusiasms. Sergeant Wotherspoon saluted smartly. “E r— you wished to— er— make a com­ plaint, Sergeant ?” “Complaints,” corrected the Sergeant. "E r— yes, quite. The Colonel was an easy-going man who loved being left alone. After all, what are adjutants for? “ V ery good.” "N ot good at altl,” said the Sergeant acidly, adding much too loudly. “— sir." The Colonel winced. "W on't you sit down?” CORPORAL W ATSON "No, thank yoil, sir." The Sergeant re­ mained stiffly at attention. "Oh, do stand easy,” ordered the Colonel irritably. “W ell, who is it this time?” ‘‘I regret to have to point out, sir, that Corporal W atson is still drinking too much.” “The regimental police— ” "D o not do their duty. Last night Cor­ poral W atson was, not to put too fine a point on it, intoxicated. H e went to his hut singing a song." No words could trans­ late the grim emphasis. "A song !” repeat­ ed the Sergeant. "N o harm in that— ” “I venture to disagree, sir. This particu­ lar song—well, the men must be made to remember that there • are A .T .S. girls here. Their windows were open and it was a very clear night. Corporal W atson’s voice was distinct— ” "I thought you said he was drunk ?” — was distinct," repeated the Serge*:?; "And I understand that this morrin-; fr.rrf of the girls were hea^ h’n - “You don’t say s T' dnKkded Ae Colonel. “Young devils— ” si;yht < * > « W eye. “Disgraceful, of course. Disgraceful." He made a note on a pad. “Then there is the matter of Captain Huntley’s leave." “Captain Huntley's leave?” • “Captain Huntley is applying for special leave for family reasons.” “But the adjutant-—” “I think it would be better, sir," said Sergeant Wotherspoon, “if too much were not left to the adjutant. As a matter of fact, Captain Huntley’s wife is in the north of Scotland. He couldn't possibly go and re­ turn in the time. So his family reasons don't appear very convincing.” “His father or mother— ” suggested the Colonel tentatively. "Captain Huntley has neither. But he has seemed to take a good deal of interest in Private Muriel Bloom of the A .T .S., and her leave is due about now— ” "Muriel Bloom?” mused the Colonel ab­ sently. “The bJoqde?” "Blonde?” thundered the Sergeant. “E r— the M ajor said something about a blonde called Muriel,” stammered the Co­ lonel. “Private Bloom is blonde," said the Ser­ geant coldly. “A t present.” “Ah. Really. W ell, perhaps Captain Hunt­ ley had better let his family look after it­ self.” “I should think so,” snapped the Ser­ geant, “— sir.” THE SERGEANT M AJO R “Anything else ?’’ queried the Colonel. “Sergeant-major Storm’s language." “Oh, the Sergeant-major. Y es, of course. But one has to make allowances for Ser­ geant-majors, you know.” • “It is a bad example, sir. Some of the girls were observed listening to him the other day. He was making some comments to a recruit whose rifle was not clean— ” “T ’t, t’t! Naturally that would shock the girls— ”, “They were laughing about it. W hich is worse." The Colonel murdered an incipient grin. “Y es, quite. W ell, we must— er— do some­ thing." THE WALRUS “It would be quite a good idea,” said the Sergeant, “if somebody suggested to M ajor Guroep that he have his moustache trimmed. He looks like a walrus.” “A walrus!" The Colonel laughed. "Oh, certainly. I’ll mention it myself with the greatest pleasure. Is there anything else ?’’ There were, it appeared, several more. The Colonel listened for some time. Then he looked at his watch. “E r— I’m afraid, Sergeant— an appointment.” The Sergeant jumped smartly to attention. The Colonel sighed as he watched Ser­ geant W otherspoon of the A .T .S. march smartly from the room. “I'd murder that woman," he muttered— "if she weren’t my wife.” (From "M en O nly") L i t t l e K n o w n U n i t s o f t h e ^ V .D . b y B r i a n R o b b Abandonm ent Section.
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